Thursday, August 30, 2007

Things They Never Tell You But Should

There are some things they never tell you but should in life – simple things. You know, like always look both ways before crossing the street.

But someone probably told you that.


Did you listen?!?!?


What you wanna get run over or something?!?!

Anyway, today’s blog isn’t about things you’ve been told but don’t do. That would just be a nagging blog and who wants that? Today’s blog is about all the things someone should have told you, but never did.

Don’t kiss anyone’s ass to get to the top – if you work really hard, show you are loyal and dedicated, and willing to do the work no one else wants to do, eventually you’ll be noticed.

Yeah right – and the all those junk emails you get about penis enlargement work. No, no, NO! Wrong answer!

No one likes an ass kisser, but you ever notice how those very same ass kissers have bigger brighter offices, driver better cars than you, wear more expensive clothes, and generally have a better life in general?

Ass kissing works – the key is not to be seen as an ass kisser. Don’t follow your boss around with puppy-love struck eyes. Don’t jump at every opportunity to kiss ass. Just be there when your boss really needs you. It’ll pay off – big time.

Speaking of paying off, if you really want to make a lot of money in the world lie, cheat and steal. Honesty doesn’t pay – look at all those poor people out there that never lie, cheat or steal.

So what if you’ve never really been to Harvard, never heard of the company you’re interviewing at, and actually, never really done the job before. You can do it – when in doubt fake it and fake it big. If you talk the walk, eventually you’ll get a chance to walk the walk.

And if you’re thinking that job offer sounds really good – a dream job come true – dial 1-800-wake-the-f*ck-up. There is no such thing as a dream job, well unless you are actually in a dream.

All jobs have their good points and bad. All jobs have people you’ll love to work with and those you want to throttle. If you really think you’re working a dream job, you’ll dreaming.

Speaking of dreams – and this is the most important one – cherish your dreams. Life sucks. We work all day for less money than we are really worth, we come home exhausted too tired to do anything enjoyable, and on weekends we do chores around the home which we can’t do while working.

But when we dream, that’s living! We can dream about anything we want, and experience it anyway you want. Dreams never come true – but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dream. Make extra time to sleep and experience your dreams – because when you wake up you’ll be in the exact same place you were before. And that really does suck.

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