Fonts, Fonts, Fonts, Too Many Freakin’ Fonts

We live in a world of words. Wherever we go, we are surrounded by words.

On television, we are bombarded with slogans, pitches, jingles, animated words wiping across the screen, words on items on the screen and more.

Even when we go to that one sacred place where everyone is entitled to be alone, words still hound us. I was a the gym recently, and they now have ads on the bathroom stalls. While I’m – ahem – doing my business, I can read up on the latest cars from General Motors.

Naturally, our wordy society requires ways to differentiate all these messages to us. Fonts tell us a lot about the person or company which created the words.

Big sweeping fonts often indicate openness, creativeness, even slightly off the beaten path. Closed fonts may indicate a more formal, logical and closed minded thought process.

However the fonts were used, one thing is for certain – there are just too many freakin’ fonts out there!

From the classics like Times New Roman, Arial, and Verdana, to new wave fonts like Acme Secret Agent, Balloon and Checkers, to silly fonts like the dingbats, there are thousands of font faces available to choose from.

There are also just as many countless font styles – many fonts come in different font types, from wide, narrow, compressed, expanded, outline, bold, extra bold, extra fine, thin, bold italic and more.

I’ve been exploring the fonts on my system and found there are just too many to categorize. I have my favourite fonts which I use often, but occasionally it is nice to play with fonts, to change things up.

But changing things up is time consuming, simply because there are so many fonts. You can even buy more fonts – why anyone in their right mind would want MORE fonts is beyond me.

And, when you embed fonts into some documents, you actually give the font to anyone who opens that document. This way, they too have new fonts on their computers.

I sometimes wonder if one day, I’ll turn on my computer and it will bury me in a sea of fonts.

In the old days, well before computers existed, typographers were professional fontsmisths. They carefully and painfully created complete font sets on huge chunks of metal and wood, for installation in gigantic printing presses.

These printing presses would literally hammer out each letter like a typewriter, to create the words on the page. As a block of wood or metal had to be created for every character conceivable, naturally there weren’t that many fonts to choose from.

Technology has ended those days of single use fonts, and replaced it with so many different fonts, it can take hours and in some cases days, to find just the right font for the job.

How easy it must have been in the old days to simply go to press, knowing the font was pretty much set in stone.

Oh well – back to searching for just the right font. . .

Web TV’s Infancy

Admit it – will all do it. Yes we do. NO! Not that!

I’m talking about surfing the net. Most of us at some point in our busy lives will eventually just surf.

Maybe you overhear some gossip, and want to look it up, or maybe you see a flyer promising the best price, and want to see if it really is the best price.

Sometimes, those annoying ads that scream at you from the top of the search engines actually make you think, and surf too.

That’s what happened to me a week or so ago. I saw an ad for some new website which allows anyone to become a web TV broadcaster.

The website is BlogTV --- www.blogtv.com – and the concept it pretty cool. Using nothing more than your webcam, you too can broadcast live on the Internet to millions of people, just surfing the net.

Most television shows involve lavish sets, shot in big studios with hundreds of bright studio lights, expensive broadcast quality cameras and lenses, staffed by professionals from the lonely gaffer (the guy that runs the cables from the cameras to the truck or studio) to the camera operators, all the way up to the directors, producers, and all the other people that make a television show work.

Imagine being able to create your own television show, without all the fuss of a professional production?

Naturally, I watched a few live shows to see what all the hype was about. When you first go into a virtual studio room, you are entering essentially a chat forum. You can register for free, and chat in the chatroom by typing on your keyboard, while the person on their webcam responds.

Those in the chatroom can be promoted to co-host, and if they have a camera, can share in the on-camera spotlight too. A second window video window opens, showing the co-host.

If both the host and the co-host have microphones, you can hear both of them too – though there are still some technical things to work out, as the audio from one person gets fed into the audio from the other person’s sound. This causes an echo effect, which is quite annoying.

All this high-tech broadcasting was very cool, so I registered to participate in the chats, and even possibly host my own show. I’ve worked in television before, both in front of and behind the camera, so I figure my professional experiences would work well on BlogTV.

Sadly, that was the end of the road to cool.

BlogTV turned into what many online communities sadly have become – places where the lonely, the depressed and the frustrated people in our society go to vent their frustrations on the world.

Most of the shows involved hosts shooting from their living rooms, bedrooms, or other household rooms, and most were quite abusive to those watching. If you said anything, even if it was simply “hi” often it was welcomed with some comment about how “gay” your alias was, or you were berated for being intruding on their discussions.

Also, I noticed although it clearly states that you must be 18 or older to broadcast from your webcam, many of the hosts didn’t look like they had passed the decade mark, let alone hit puberty.

Some of the highest rated shows, involved young teenage girls in skimpy outfits, doing nothing but blasting music. And when I say nothing – I mean nothing. There were times when different teenage girls were talking on the phone, while their webcam was broadcasting just that – them on the phone, listening to music.

Sadly, when I tried to host a show, few entered my room. I had on a nice clean white shirt, and had created the topic “Customer Service Horror Stories” as I’m sure we all have had one or more of those. But after 10-minutes of broadcasting, only a couple of guests had entered my video chatroom. I then captured a still shot of a half-naked woman from a porno video, and within minutes, I had almost 40 people.

This speaks volumes about the nature of BlogTV, and sadly of the Internet as a whole. People that go onto BlogTV don’t want quality, they want to see hot babes. They are voyeurs looking for another source to entertain their addiction.

BlogTV has the potential to be something of value in our society – but I don’t think our society is really ready for it.

We as a society have not evolved to the point where intelligent, thoughtful, well-spoken ideas can be broadcast online by just anyone. If those intelligent, thoughtful and well-spoken ideas are broadcast by a bimbo, showing a lot of cleavage and maybe some thigh, they stand a better chance of being received.

Now, I am by no means an ugly person, but I’m also not a high grade model. And even if I had the chiselled chin, was tall dark and handsome, sadly, I still would have faltered in my broadcast on BlogTV. I lack the boobs to make it work.

Most people on BlogTV, just as most people on the online chats and other so-called “social networking sites” are men. And most of these men lack the interest in seeing another man discuss anything, even sports. Most of these men are thinking with their penises and are only looking for one thing – some old fashioned tits and ass.

As many of the hosts on BlogTV are extremely young kids, obviously younger than 18, and probably broadcasting from their bedroom in their parent’s home without mom and dad’s knowledge, most of those men are actually encouraging illegal and immoral behaviour.

There are moderators that “wander” around the various video chatrooms, looking out for inappropriate behaviour. And there is a button which anyone entering these rooms can press, to alert one of these moderators about such things – but it appears few push that button.

Then again, it isn’t always easy to tell when these kids are or are not underage – I asked a few how old they were. They all responded “I’m 18.”

But anyone can say or do anything online. Just like those sad, lonely and depressed men, watching those young girls in barely anything can too.

Though parents need to know what their kids are doing online. I think giving a kid access to a computer is great. But placing that computer in a bedroom, or anywhere where the kid can be by themselves is just asking for trouble.

But that’s another blog on parenting.

As for BlogTV – I think it is a great idea, and they could have some pretty cool shows. If only there was a way to attract people to your show, other than having a pretty, underage face on it.

The Great Pizza Rip-Off Artist

I love to cook, but occasionally I just don’t have the time or energy. That’s when I’ll order in.

The other day, I ordered in pizza for me and my girlfriend from Pizza Pizza, one of our usual fast-food pizza places.

We usually get a medium pizza or two, and maybe a salad, garlic bread, stuff like that. I ordered a medium pizza, 10-chicken wings, and a Greek salad.

When the delivery guy arrived with our food, he made a special point to mention that there was no salad dressing, as there wasn’t any on the order.

I thought this very odd, as we’ve ordered many salads from them in the past, and they always include the salad dressing. And it says on their website that the salad comes with an Italian dressing. Besides, who has salad without dressing?

I was mad, and questioned the driver, but didn’t blame him – he’s just the guy who delivers the pizzas. Though he did make a special point to mention there was no dressing – which indicated he knew something was wrong.

Also the medium pizza was incredibly small – in fact it looked like a small pizza. I questioned the driver again, and he verified that was the correct size. I’m guessing Pizza Pizza recently changed their pizza sizes, because I’ve had medium pizzas from them before and they were quite a bit bigger.

I paid the driver, and took the food in. But I was angry, the pizza was smaller than I’ve had in the past, and I didn’t get the salad dressing which is supposed to come with my pizza.

So, I called Pizza Pizza’s customer service number. I told them that I didn’t receive a dressing for my salad, as indicated on their website. I didn’t mention anything about the size of the pizza, as that really was a moot point.

They asked me if I specified a dressing when I ordered. I explained that I’ve never had to specify one before, and that it clearly shows on their website that the particular salad I ordered comes with a specific dressing.

Then the customer service representative on the other end did what I thought all customer service representatives were told never to do – blame the customer.

She said it was my fault for not specifying a salad dressing, their order takers cannot simply decide which dressing to include with the salad.

I explained that I’ve ordered salads from them before, and I’ve always received the salad dressing which is included with the salad, without having to specify anything – all their salads are linked to a specific dressing on their menus.

The customer service representative just continued to blame me – me the customer – claiming next time I should specify which dressing I want.

I said I wasn’t going to argue, please just send us the salad dressing which goes with the Greek salad, as on your menu.

She continued along the same line of thought, telling me about next time, and how now I’ll know not to make the same mistake.

I couldn’t believe her rudeness and lack of respect towards a paying customer. So I hung up, and immediately wiped clean Pizza Pizza’s number from my phone’s directory.

I ended up making my own dressing, with olive oil and some spices, which turned out great. But I was really upset – not only did I pay for something which I didn’t get, I was blamed for not getting what I paid for by the very company which I had paid for the product I didn’t receive.

Pizza Pizza lost a long-time valuable customer that day. I have been ordering food from them on a somewhat regular basis for well over a decade. I’ve enjoyed going into their stores when hungry, to grab a slice of pizza.

But no more – it’s bad enough paying for something and getting lesser value. It is quite another to be treated so unprofessionally and poorly by one of their customer service representatives.

With all the pizza places around, I’m sure I won’t have any trouble replacing them with company that actually respects their customers enough to treat them with no less dignity than they themselves wish to be treated.

When I’m at work, a friends place, or with others, and we decide to order pizza – I’ll always make sure to recite this horrid tale if Pizza Pizza’s name is spoken.

Pizza Pizza’s been around a long time – but they still have a long way to go before they learn how to retain their most important asset – their customers.

Snowfalls from the Past

While I was walking with my girlfriend today, I couldn’t help but talk about how high the snow banks were.

We had another major blast of winter yesterday – getting 15cm of snow in total. We’ve had a number of big snow storms recently, so much so, it appears as if we’re having a major snow storm a week.

My comment to my girlfriend speaks to just how much snow we’ve had this winter – so far. I said: “I haven’t seen snow banks that high since I was a kid, and we were up at the cottage.”

I remember when I was a kid, we’d sometimes go up north to the family cottage. Up in cottage country, where the ski hills are, they tend to get a lot of snow every winter. So much snow in fact, that many have to go up on their roofs to shovel it off so they don’t have a cave in.

Up in cottage country, getting snow squalls off the lake is a common cause for the major snow storms. The wicked winter weather we’re having here is due to the increase in the earth’s temperatures – global warming.

Because the world is warmer, more moist air is being picked up by the clouds. This moist air gets carried away by the clouds, which turns to ice and snow as the clouds move over cooler landmasses. Once the ice and snow are too heavy for the clouds to contain, it all comes back down to us. Though all that moist air has done other things too – mainly fuelling the storm cells.

Moist air is energy to a storm cell. Hurricanes typically start off as tropical storms, but only turn into violent and deadly storms once they travel over a warm body of water.

So, not only are we getting clouds with more “stuff” in them, we’re getting more active weather patterns. These highly active weather patterns mean the snow falls are heavier, the winds are stronger, and occasionally we get other things typical of strong storms.

Just last week we had rare winter lightening with the snow and wind storm. At least, this winter the winter lightening is rare, with global warming, that too may be a more common affair.

Winter lightening is just what it sounds like – it is lightening during the winter. We usually only get lightening during summer storms, but last week, there were quite a few bright bolts screaming through the sky.

I don’t mind snow, I actually think freshly fallen snow is pretty. But the consequences of all this snow down the road are going to be disastrous. When it melts, we’re in for a major flooding. Streets and sidewalks will be mini-rivers and streams, basements will become indoor cess pools, water mains will burst under the added strain and pressure.

Good thing I live way up in a high-rise. But even I have to go out and will have to splash my way through it to get to where I am going.

All this water could be a problem for food crops too. Farmers often complain that there isn’t enough snow in the winter, to keep the water tables at a high enough level during the dry summer growing season.

But too much water can wash away the good growing soil (which is lighter) leaving in it’s place, the heavier clays and other dirt and rocks which you just can’t grow good things in.

Farmers can always purchase good growing soil, but that’s a cost that will come back to haunt us at the grocery store.

Maybe it’s just that I’m a typical Canadian – never happy with the weather?

Searching for the Right Fit

I just wrapped-up a contract and so starts the time consuming and often educational process of looking for my next ‘gig.’

Actually, my previous client offered me another 12-month contract – with a mere three-days until my current contract ended. Originally, they told me they were going to extend to me a full-time permanent position. I said I’d be happy to consider this full-time offer – so long as I had sufficient time to consider it. To me, as I should suspect to most professionals, two-weeks notice is standard. Anything less, is just unacceptable.

I was actually quite shocked and somewhat disappointed that my previous client not only changed the offer from permanent to another contract (without even asking my thoughts on this), but also that they left it for so long. Their reasoning was, I was an excellent worker, and they didn’t want to lose me, but they hadn’t finalized their head-count for their fiscal year-end yet.

Their fiscal year-end by the way is October 31, and this was just last week, well into their so-called ‘fiscal year.’ I knew from discussions with senior management, that they still hadn’t completed their plans for the new fiscal year, which they already were in. Perhaps they’ll have a plan for this fiscal year just in time for the next fiscal year?

What it really comes down to is finding the right fit. Finding that perfect job is like slipping into your favourite pair of blue jeans.

That favourite pair of blue jeans didn’t just happen. You scoured through numerous clothing stores, trying on many pairs, until you found that perfect pair of blue jeans that just felt right – almost like a second skin.

Finding the perfect employer takes time too. You have to go through countless interviews, being asked the same questions repeatedly. You to ask the same questions over and over again, only to find six-months to a year later, you’re back out there, on the interview circuit.

Or at least, that’s the way it should be. Sometimes it is pretty easy and quick to find out just who is NOT the right fit, and eliminate them from contention.

Today for example, I went to an interview where I had my doubts. There was a little voice inside my head telling me after the initial phone call that this wouldn’t be the right place for me, but I decided to go forward with the interview to see how things panned out.

Turns out that little voice was right.

An interview should be a private affair, with only those directly involved in the hiring process, meeting with potential candidates one-on-one. It is an opportunity for these individuals to assess whether or not there is a good fit.

Today’s interview was done as a group, with four candidates at once. And there were no questions allowed on either side. Instead, we were herded like cattle into a big boardroom, and given a writing test.

“We were told to bring our portfolios so you could look at them,” I said.

“Oh, don’t worry, we’ll look at those if we call you back for another round,” said the dubiously deceptive interrogator.

I had lugged my laptop to this interview, as I do all interviews. This way, I can show off all my work, paying special attention to the pieces which most resemble the type of work for which I’m interviewing. I was pretty peeved that I not only was asked to bring my portfolio, but that it wouldn’t even be looked at today.

The others in the “interview” were pretty young, they looked like college kids. They probably just graduated from school. I’ve been around the block, so-to-speak, so I not only felt out of place, but really uncomfortable.

I’m way to “senior” a person to be compared to a bunch of recent graduates. That’s like comparing apples to oranges – both are fruits, both are good for you, but both are completely different.

I have mentored junior writers in the past, and I enjoy it. I even learn things from the “kids” too – but to compare someone with over a decade’s worth of real-world experience to some fresh and raw meat “kid” out of school, just doesn’t make any sense.

I knew this place wasn’t for me – not only by their hiring process, but by their lack of process.

Their writing test consisted of two parts – first to write a letter answering the question – and I kid you not, this is the interrogator’s own words: “Why Should We Hire You?”

Very arrogant and sadistic to have to write a begging and pleading letter for a job, for which you have already supposedly been chosen as a potential candidate, from your already submitted resume and cover letter.

The second part, was to write a promotional marketing piece for the company’s products and services.

I started to ask some standard questions about who the intended audience was, and which products and services they wanted us to focus on, as the company had several.

My interrogator said, anyone and anything – you choose.

One thing you learn very quickly in this writing business, is you always need to know who your audience is and what it is you are trying to say. I could roughly guess who this company’s audience was, and magically through mental deduction pick what I thought would be one of their better products to write about. However, the point of this “writing test” wasn’t to see how good we were at guessing – it was – as far as I was told – to see how well we write.

The fact that they are asking everyone to write this “test” without even asking them any preliminary questions says to me that they themselves don’t really know what they are looking for. And by them not allowing those in the running to ask any questions, prohibits people from figuring out if this is the right fit for the candidates too.

Normally, if I’m placed in such a situation, I usually find an out and leave politely. But I don’t know, maybe I was mesmerized by the interrogator’s full head of hair, his shiny smile, or the spot on his tie, because I stayed right through. I even wrote their stupid fishing experimental “writing test.” Though I was very generic, as I wasn’t on the payroll, and giving away free marketing information just doesn’t pay the bills.

Don’t get me wrong, often I am asked to write a writing test. I even get asked to write the odd grammar test too. However, usually this is a last stage in the process, after all the questions have been asked on both sides, and both parties feel confident and comfortable moving forward towards the next and final stages.

To ask someone to write a test within 10-seconds or less of meeting them, is no better than having a current client turn-around less than two-weeks before my contract ends, and offer me a mediocre continuation, when originally they had told me they were leaning towards something more substantial.

Neither “process” is professional or courteous, and it is certainly not well thought out.

It just goes to show how challenging it is to find the right fit. One may actually have a better chance of winning the lottery, being struck by lightening, or inheriting a fortune from some long lost relative. But the main thing is to keep trying, because if you don’t try, you’ll never know.

Now, where’d I place that perfect pair of blue jeans . . .

Stranded in the Snow

Last night I went out with my girlfriend to one of our regular hotspots. Every Wednesday they have all-you-can-eat ribs, and this being Wednesday, I went for the ribfest.

My girlfriend, like a lot of women for some reason, doesn’t eat ribs. Must be something in the male chromosomes that gives us men the desire to eat ooey, sticky and messy ribs. Or anything messy – my girlfriend won’t eat anything messy in public, but that’s another story.

It was starting to really snow as we left for the restaurant. And there was a snow storm warning for the area – with snowfalls expected to be around 15 or more centimetres.

We took the bus, and managed to catch our buses without any problems getting there. Coming back was another story.

We didn’t wait to long for the first of two buses, probably less than 15-minutes. But by now, the snow was really coming down hard. It was a near white-out, and the snow was really pounding us, and piling up everywhere. It was a blizzard.

We waited for our second bus to get us home. And there were already a number of people at the bus stop, which usually indicates the bus was just about to come. But not tonight. Not under all the snow falling.

We kept seeing buses go the other way, but none were coming our way. We waited for about 30-minutes and then figured they were probably being turned around. There is a big hill a little way before us, and chances are the buses were not getting up the hill in the snow and ice.

So, we decided to walk – a walk which took probably 30-45-minutes or more. Not only that, it was almost all up hill, and we were walking into the wind – so snow and ice was continually pelting our faces.

We’re Canadians, so we were dressed for the weather. We’re used to lots of snow in the winter. We were bundled up well in our winter coats, gloves, toques, and boots and scarves.

But even with all those layers of protective clothing, it was still a challenge walking through all that snow. We were passing all the cars getting stuck on the hill – it was like walking through a parking lot, only this parking lot had a lot of angry drivers desperate to get moving.

We had to stop about halfway up the hill to breath – and pat off the snow. We were both covered in the white stuff.

Then we began our journey and we finally reached our destination – home. But it was quite an experience to walk through a blizzard, up hill, wind and snow in your face!

Maybe next time there is a blizzard on the way, we’ll order in.

Why Writing Just Comes Easy -- To Me

Writing is easy for me. I can write a two-page blog in under twenty minutes. The one you’re reading right now only took me fifteen.

Why is writing easy to me, but hard for others?

Once a wordsmith, always a wordsmith.

I love to write and I supposed that is part of it. Because if you enjoy something, you not only tend to do it well, but you tend to do it fast and effortlessly.

But I also have a lot on my mind, most of the time. So there again, I have lots of ideas of what to write about.

Funny thing though, I can start hammering out a blog, or anything once in front of a computer. But put me in front of a piece of paper and pen, and I instantly get writer’s block.

I guess I am so used to writing on a computer, the very thought of writing without a computer just blows my mind. I will eventually be able to write something down on that paper, but it’ll take longer to come by than had I been placed in front of a computer.

I never really knew I was a writer-type until I started volunteering for the campus paper way back in my university days. One long lazy summer, I ventured into the campus paper’s offices and inquired how to get involved. I wrote for every issue until my graduation after that day – and I really enjoyed it.

It was a lot of fun digging up information, interviewing people, taking photos, and then seeing my byline in the paper – usually throughout the paper on several stories.

I still wonder what would have happened, had I never taken the initiative to explore the school paper? I’d never know that I enjoyed writing, and I’d probably be working some joe-job at McDonald’s or something.

Then again, maybe I would have ended up the next Ron Jeremy, pursuing that porn career. . .

Yeah, right.

Though kudos to Ron Jeremy – he’s every man’s man. He proved that you don’t have to be tall, dark, handsome and nicely waxed to get the hot babes into bed.

I still would have probably stumbled into my writing ways somehow. Maybe if it wasn’t for the campus paper, it would have eventually been something else. Maybe all those essays I wrote while in university?

Once bitten by the writing bug, it is hard to let go. So the porn industry loses a potential talent, but the world has gained another writer!

Some people are good at math, some science, some drawing and painting. I’m not good at any of those things – though I can blow stuff up real well – does that count as science?

We take our strengths and build on them, to develop meaningful lives in work and play. Those that are good in math do math-related things, those in science do science-related things, and those good at art, usually sell their art door-to-door. . .

Well not really. Not all. Just some.

I’m a writer, and I peddle words for sale.

Wanna buy a vowel?

Groundhog Green

Recently all the media hooted and hollered about Groundhog Day.

There is a great movie with Bill Murray called Groundhog Day. It is one of those stupid but funny movies, where Bill Murray’s character keeps reliving the same day, every day, until that one faithful day, when he finally gets it right.

The recent hype wasn’t over this comedy. It was over a bunch of nuts, that put their trust in predicting the weather, into a furry creature that is a member of the rat family. Groundhogs are actually members of the rodent world, and rats are certainly part of their kin.

Up here in Canada, the groundhogs predicted an early spring thaw. In the States, the groundhogs had mixed views – some predicted more winter, while others ‘claim’ spring is just around the corner.

I don’t believe either larger-than-life rat.

Actually, I don’t buy into the weather forecaster’s either – who aren’t nearly as vane as to predict an early spring or a longer than normal winter.

I think the only way to see what will happen is to wait it out. The whole planet’s ecosystem has gone all funny, thanks to global warming.

We’re seeing more severe weather in all seasons, because of the earth’s temperature continuing to climb. In the summer, we get more severe lightening storms, which cause severe flooding, produce damaging winds, and wreak havoc with power systems. In the fall, we see more rain and high winds. While now in winter, we see more severe snow storms which shut down major metropolitan areas – though who doesn’t want a snow day every so often?

It wasn’t all that long ago, when I can remember we’d only get maybe one or two severe storms per year. Now we’re averaging at least four or five severe storms per year, and that number is on the rise.

Maybe the groundhogs are closer to Mother Nature than we are, so they really can predict when spring will come. But I’d bet easy money that the groundhogs are just as shaken up by the chaotic weather we’ve been experiencing.

Groundhogs, and all the other plants and animals which we share the world with, don’t have the luxury have being able to sit on the couch, sipping a hot chocolate, while watching the storm on the weather network – all safe under the protection of four walls and a roof.

Aside from us humans, all other forms of life have to – pardon the pun – weather the storm.

Which is really ironic when you think about it, as global warming has been caused largely due to human activity. There are some elements of global warming which are natural – but for the most part our reliance on fossil fuels, are disposable society, our use of various products which have increased ozone, and various other things, have all been the key factors creating the increase in the severity and length of wicked weather.

If I was a groundhog, I’d probably go on strike – work for humans which have torn up MY once comfy existence! Never!

However, groundhogs lack the intelligence to communicate such thoughts. Though those that trust their weather predictions may say otherwise.

We are getting better at reducing the human footprint we’ve left on this planet, through recycling programs, more efficient vehicles, and substituting older products with newer, non-environmentally threatening ones.

But it may be too little, too late, at least for you, me and the groundhog.

It took Mother Nature millions of years to balance out the environment after the last ice age, and it will no doubt take her just as long, if not longer, to bring balance once again to the human-damaged environment.

Think you’ll be around in a million years? Ask the groundhog for a prediction on that one.

Transition Lenses Really Work

I recently got new glasses – same prescription, just new lenses and frames.

I went all out and got everything imaginable on two pair of glasses. These lenses have everything – anti-glare, anti-scratch, anti-dust, extra thin and my favourite feature of all – Crizal Transitions from Essilor.

These lenses are clear indoors, but when I go out into the sun, they automatically darken to a full dark grey lens.

When I first experienced the actual transition, I kept taking off my glasses to see how dark they got. They get to a full sun-glass dark tint.

This is awesome as one of my pet peeves – as many eye glass wearers probably experience – is the constant changing of glasses. Every time I go from the outside in, there is always a delay, as I have to fumble with putting my sun glasses away, and taking my regular glasses out.

No more fumbling – my glasses automatically change back to clear lenses when I go inside. This is not only a real time saver, but better for the glasses. It lessens the chance that I will drop or scratch a lens as I fiddle with putting one pair away, and taking the other pair out.

I remember years ago, I had a girlfriend that had these transition type lenses. They always seemed to go dark in the wrong places. And sometimes outside, they wouldn’t get dark enough.

The technology has improved a lot since then – these new transition lenses go from clear to dark fairly quickly, and they go to the right levels of tint for the conditions.

I’m really happy with my new transition lenses, and I highly recommend them to anyone getting new glasses. It is easier and cheaper to get transition lenses, than opting for a pair of sun glasses and a pair of regular glasses.

Though I did get two pairs of glasses, both pairs have exactly the same type of lenses – they are both transition lenses. I needed a backup pair as my older backup pair was getting warn. It is always a good idea to have a backup pair of glasses, because you never know when something may happen to the ones you wear every day.

Though one of my new pair of glasses also has a flexible frame! It actually is designed to absorb some of the shock of an impact. This is great for someone like me, with a fairly active life style.

My other pair of glasses are titanium – they aren’t flexible, but they are very strong. So, if my regular glasses break, I have a strong titanium backup – with all the other features of the lenses as my regular pair.

Now, if only they can create an eye glass with a built in television and DVD player . . .

Are You Smarter Than an American?

I’ve seen the ads on television for the FOX show Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader. The show’s concept never really caught my eye, so I never intentionally watched.

However, with over 500-channels, I sometimes catch things. As in last Sunday night, when I was flipping around and happened on this show.

So I figured, I had some time to kill before The Simpson’s was on, so I’d watch.

WOW! I know American’s lag behind us Canadians in terms of educational standards, and the costs are far greater there than here.

But every contestant they had on the show was just plain dumb. Far greater than dumb, born without a brain perhaps?

Maybe they intentionally pick stupid people to go up against the kids on this show, so the kids don’t look so bad. Then again, if these people represent a cross-section of American’s in general, then no wonder they are in an economic downturn.

One of the contestants said a Pocola was part of the percussion family, because they both started with “P!” (It is actually a woodwind instrument, because it has a reed.)

I was amazed at just how dumb the contestants were.

Granted, its been a while since these people were in school – but still!?!?!

I know not everyone can qualify to be on Jeopardy, but to have shows that showcase the common person in the United States, when compared to kids, and have the kids come across as being far smarter – sheesh.

We live in quite a sad society when adults just don’t have any sense and sensibilities anymore. And it appears Who’s Smarter Than an American might be a good show for up here in Canada.

If you can win a million or more – count me in!

January Diet Dilemmas

Every January, people tell me they are on a diet.

“This is it, this is the year I’m going to drop 10-pounds,” some say.

My dad is on the Scarsdale Diet, which he’s been on before. He says he has lost 10-pounds in four-weeks.

From Weight Watchers to Jenny Craig, to all the other fad diets – that’s all they really are.

Whenever someone tells me they are on a diet, I always ask them the all important question – have you taken up working out too?

The answer is almost always “no.”

This tells me that although they may drop those pounds while on the diet, as soon as they go off the diet, they will quickly gain all that weight back.

Diets don’t work. They really don’t. Not at all.

The only real way to lose weight and keep it off is to eat healthy, and to exercise. This is what the experts have been telling us for years, and it is true.

I workout hard, hitting the gym usually three or four-times per week. When I’m at the gym, I usually workout for about two-hours.

I’m a workout freak – I love to workout. I enjoy the feeling of my muscles getting a good, healthy workout. I enjoy the burn of weight lifting, the strain my legs get while on the treadmill, and I like watching the heart-rate monitor rise, telling me I’m working out my heart.

You don’t have to workout like I do to be in shape. All you really need to exercise your body, is to workout for at least 30-minutes, three-times a week. You have to workout at an intensity that you break a sweat – or else all you are doing is tiring your muscles.

But still, people buy into the crap that some miracle diet will change their lives. I see the ads on late night television for diet pills, diet massagers, and of course, Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig.

None of these really work – and you don’t need to spend money on them. It is money wasted.

If you’re going to invest in your health – which is a wise investment – don’t spend it on some miracle diet or fad. Spend it on buying healthy fruits, vegetables and other low-fat foods. Spend it on an exercise or sport which you will ENJOY doing.

So many people join the gym in January with plans to lose weight. Gyms count on this – they force you into a one-year contract. So, when you realize that the gym isn’t for you, and you stop going after a couple of months, you still end up paying for the year-long membership.

I go to the gym, because I ENJOY it.

There are lots of fun things you can do to lose weight. You just have to figure out what it is that YOU enjoy.

Walking, running, riding a bike, playing tennis, even swimming and skating are all excellent exercises.

So, to lose weight, eat right, and find something active which you enjoy – and spend money on that.

Now leave Jenny Craig alone!

Could It Be the End of Crazy Neighbour?

My crazy creepy neighbour from across the hall was up to no good again last night.

Well – from his perspective he was having a blast. Apparently it was his birthday, and he had a big birthday bash.

From everyone on my floor, and a couple floors above and below, it was a lot of loud pounding, and chaotic confusion.

I was doing my laundry in the evening, and as I walked by his door, I noticed it was being propped open with a shoe. I thought that odd, as although this is a high security high-rise, we don’t live in a college dorm. You don’t want just any stranger walking into your private home.

There were doors slamming all night too, which I wondered about. I thought maybe someone was having a big fight, so I just kept to my own pad. And when I turned off the television, I noticed a thumping that I had never heard before. It was loud music pounding away.

I opened my front door and peaked out. Sure enough it was coming from the crazy creepy neighbour from down the hall.

This morning, when I went out to do my groceries, I ran into two other neighbours in my hall. One of them had a letter of disturbance and was taking it down to the property management office. The other, was laughing about it, thinking it must be fun to be young.

I just shook my head in disgust. How can anyone be so thoughtless about those that share their surroundings with others. I’ve been in the same place now for four-years, and usually it is a joy to be here. I hardly hear anyone or anything.

My crazy creepy neighbour must have been making a hell of a disturbance last night. According to my neighbour across the hall (who happens to be right next-door to the crazy creepy neighbour) people were pounding on her ceiling from upstairs, and on her floor from below, in protest to the noise. They thought it was coming from her place.

This building is very well maintained, but old – over forty-years-old. So between all the floors is a layer of thick solid concrete. I know – when I put up my drapes I had to get the super to do it for me, because it had the high-powered drill and special drill bits to go through the extra thick ceiling.

So, to be making such a racket that those above, below and next-door can hear you, it must have been quite the party.

Maybe though, this will be the end of my crazy creepy neighbour. He’s had a few notices given to him over the years, and I’m sure property management will only tolerate so much before they tell him to scram.

When I went to take out my trash this morning, I noticed a stack of empty cartons of pop and beer. No doubt from my crazy creepy neighbour’s party. Those shouldn’t be stacked in the garbage shoot room, they should be taken down to the big blue bins for recycling. He’s stacked things there before which he shouldn’t, and received warnings about it.

Now, if I can figure out where they came from, so can property management. That’ll be two infractions in one weekend – onto of the handful he’s already had for being a menace.

Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll finally serve him with notice to get out, for failing to abide by the rules. And there aren’t many rules here really, none that you wouldn’t expect in any high-rise.

All they really want is for you to respect your neighbours right to the same freedoms as you want, and to put garbage and recyclables in the right spots. But some people, like my crazy creepy neighbour across the hall, just don’t have the intelligence to figure that out.

So out is where he may be going.

Have You Heard Anything Yet?

When I talk to my friends and family, and some of my co-workers, they always start off with “have you heard anything yet?”

They are referring to my contract ending in under a week’s time, yet I haven’t heard anything from my manager or human resources as to what will happen when it does end.

About six-months into my contract, my manager told me she didn’t want to lose me, and said she’d like to keep me on past my contract.

A couple of months later, she verbally asked me if I’d consider a full-time permanent staff position. I told her I’d consider it – I didn’t say I’d accept, but I am open to the possibility.

Or at least, way back then I was. I figured someone would have told me something at least two-week’s prior to my contract ending.

“We’re sorry, we just don’t have the budget right now, so we can’t keep you on past your contract.”

“We’re happy to offer you full-time permanent, with all the benefits.”

Or even, “we don’t want to lose you, and I know we were talking about permanent staff, but at this point and time, we still haven’t finalized our headcounts and budget for the year. Would you be interested in a short-term 30-day, 60-day, or even a 90-day contract, until we figure things out?”

All three scenarios would have been acceptable. WOULD HAVE BEEN.

With five days remaining until my contract ends, and still not a peep as to where the company sees me after those five days, I am a little more than peeved.

It is not only rude, but exceptionally irritating to disregard a person who has received nothing but excellent reviews from his manager, and is always receiving compliments for a job well done by other higher-ups.

Just last Friday, I got an email from the president and CEO of the company, telling me that I did an excellent job on our weekly newsletter. Moments after, my manager comes to me and tells me one of the directors said that same newsletter was “awesome.” And one of the other directors who I was working with in putting together this newsletter, emailed both my manager and my vice-president, saying how wonderful a job I did.

I’ve been getting feedback like this all year long – yet my contract ends in five short days, and I still haven’t heard anything about my status after it ends.

“Have you heard anything yet?”

“Nope,” is my usual response, and the person asking usually follows up with a look of understanding my frustration, and disbelief in this unusual predicament.

What exactly is one to do in such a predicament?

You can’t exactly go to your boss and say, “oh, I’m going to be late today, because I have a job interview.”

I’ve already asked my manager if they were still interested in my services after my contract ends – three-weeks prior to it ending.

My manager did talk to human resources, and they apparently were going to make me an offer a week prior to my contract ending.

A week prior to my contract ending isn’t really all that professional, but I accepted it at the time.

But that week came and went – last Friday was exactly one-week prior to my contract ending.

So, when and if they do come to me – what then?

Is America Ready for a Black Woman President?

I don’t spend much time worrying about our American neighbours to the south. Being Canadian, I tend to focus on matters of interest to us northern folks.

But the American election in the US of Eh is raising some interesting questions.

Is America ready for a black president?
Is America ready for a woman president?

I think the answer to both is no.

If you have to ask such questions in the first place, then the answer is a definite no. When American society elects a woman or a black person to the oval office, and there is no fan fare, no pomp and circumstance, and no one has raised either of these questions, then, and only then will America be ready for either – or both.

Though if a either Obama or Clinton wins the election, it wouldn’t surprise me either.

WHa?

How can I go out and say that America isn’t ready for a woman or a black person as president, and then say they could easily win?

Easy – they’d be the fall presidents.

America is in the middle of a recession. They have actually been in recession for a couple of months now, but the American Federal Reserve won’t make any announcements until the country has been in recession for at least two-consecutive quarters – that is the “official” designation of what a recession is.

And the so-called “war on terror” which the current bimbo – whoops – I mean current president George W. Bush has been leading, has been causing major problems for him and his government. They have spent billions more than they can afford on this war, and continue to spend billions more than they have on it. They have lost far too many soldiers in a conflict which is all about control over oil – and not terror. And the international opinion of America as a whole has hit rock bottom, because of this war, and what it has done to the innocent citizens of the countries the American’s have destroyed – all in the name of power.

SO, whoever wins the current American presidential elections will be the fall person for all the crap left over by the bimbo leader of today. No one can possibly solve these issues in one, or even a couple terms in office. Experts believe Iraq will take decades to clean up alone.

And these problems don’t include the issues which are local to the American people – education, healthcare, jobs – all the standard issues which all political campaigns eventually raise.

So, America may not be ready for a black female president, but they will elect someone who they know probably won’t last in office for very long. They can’t – they have too much to deal with, and too little to support them.

Give the new president a year at best.

Good luck Oprah – she’ll probably be the first female black president – when the time is right.

The Power of Cyclonic Suction

My old Panasonic vacuum died a couple of weeks ago – long rest it’s cleaning soul. This past weekend I got a spankin’ brand new vacuum.

I’ve been shopping around for a new vacuum for a while. There are so many varieties of the dust-sucking appliance around.

From simple electric brooms, which have little to no suction power, to full-blown wet/dry shop vacs capable of not only cleaning out your goldfish tank, but everything inside.

There are those models which have a little turtle-like trolley you have to lug wherever you go. My grandmother used to have one of those, and every time I see one, I think they are ancient relics from a distant past. Surprisingly, these vacuums are very durable, powerful and usually last longer than their upright cousins.

Then there are the upright vacuums – the ones which you push the canister along with the whole sucking foot. These are what I am used too. You can feel the power as you push and pull it along.

They even have robotic vacuums, which I was also looking at. These things have very little power, but can be programmed to scurry about cleaning every day while you are at work. The theory behind these computerized cleaning devices is by cleaning every day, they keep your place so spotless, you don’t need a big and powerful manual vacuum.

All vacuums need a place to stash the dirt. Being a guy, I like things which require as little maintenance as possible. They have bag and bagless vacuums. The bagless ones require you to change the bag every so often with a new one; while the bagless ones you simply empty out the canister every time it gets full.

They have funky names to “sell” you on each specific brand too. From turbines, to wind-tunnel action, to cyclonic – you’d think you were investing in a piece of technology from NASA.

Prices range all over the map – from teeny tiny power sweepers of just around $100, to the supposedly “in” vacuum – the Dyson – which sells for just over $500. For a hundred dollars more than the Dyson, you can actually buy a centralized vacuuming system for your whole home.

SO – what did I buy and do I like it?

I got the Bissell Healthy Home Cyclonic vacuum. It is blue, has a bright headlight, and makes vroom vroom noises when I push it.

Just kidding.

I’m the one making the vroom vroom sounds.

But I do like my choice in vacuums. It is really powerful, 12-amps worth of power. Twelve-amps is the most power you can buy. It also has a very wide foot (cleaning path) of 15-inches. Means it not only sucks up all the dust, but I have don’t have to push it around as long, as it cleans a bigger area.

It also has a 35-foot hose, which is awesome, as it means I can reach high up and get my curtains clean.

This upright bagless vacuum is the Bissell version of the Dyson. It has all the cool features of the Dyson, without the hefty price.

My favourite feature so far is the turbo brush. This is an attachment for the hose, which is essentially a mini vacuum for the hose. It is a powered brush, about the size of the average person’s clenched fist. Perfect for vacuuming my couch, bed and other small but sturdy pieces of furniture.

No, this vacuum won’t clean my home by itself, but it has the power and features which make it a really good buy. It even has a two-year warrantee, which is very good, as most only had one-year warrantees.

I think I’ll go vacuum – just to practice with my new toy.

Crushed Ribs

I was at the local Dominion Grocery Store today. I was just passing through, to get to other stores in the mall. But as I was walking past the prepared foods counter, I saw some tasty looking ribs.

I thought these ribs and the fries next to them looked like a great dinner for tonight. So I waited patiently for the girl behind the counter to come out and serve me. She was at the other end cutting meat.

And I waited . . . and waited. I know she sees me, she’s looked up a couple of times. Though she still was cutting meat. Must be nice to have a job where you can ignore the customers paying your wages.

I called her over politely, though I was thinking of just walking out. She said she’d be over in a minute. It took longer than that, but eventually she got her lazy-ass butt over to the counter and asked if she could help me.

I asked for three racks of ribs, and a medium fries.

She gets out a plastic container for the ribs, and I see it and politely advise that she may need two containers. She takes the ribs, and out of the display and piles them into the container. They are too big for the container – anyone with half a brain could see that. And you’d figure she’d know what containers to use – as she works there. Though I was starting to wonder if maybe she just broke into the Dominion and started working for something to do.

She took a lid, and began to crush my ribs. She tried all that she could, using her entire body weight to push down on the poor crumbled plastic food container. The lid still wouldn’t stay on.

She asked if I’d mind two containers – which I advised her in the first place.

I began to say something – then I decided not to bother asking for non-crushed ribs. I told her not to worry about it, I don’t want them anymore.

And I walked out of the Dominion Grocery Store. I didn’t want crushed ribs, and I certainly didn’t feel like explaining something to some punk teenager that probably wouldn’t listen. So the Dominion Grocery Store lost my business.

I enjoy cooking my own food, but occasionally I am too tired and just want to have someone else do the cooking. Prepared food from the grocery store is faster and cheaper than getting take out, and it isn’t bad food.

I’ve had problems before at that prepared food counter. Often there is never anyone around to help out, and when you finally do get someone, they are rude, talking on their cell phones to their boyfriends, or simply just don’t listen and don’t give you even the slightest level of basic customer service.

I’ve been going to Longo’s for my groceries most recently, as their store is bigger, cleaner, and the service is exceptional. I was only passing by the Dominion Grocery Store and thought it might be nice to have some prepared food for dinner.

Won’t do that EVER AGAIN.

The Dominion Grocery Store chain has lost my business forever. I’m tired of dealing with their flakey people. I shouldn’t have to call someone over to serve me – isn’t that why they are there in the first place?

And when someone does take the time out of their busy day to actually come over and serve a customer, shouldn’t that person at the very least LISTEN to the customer?

So NEVER GO TO DOMINION GROCERY STORES – unless of course you don’t mind the lack of customer service.

Old Habits Die Hard

After a nice two-week holiday, I went back to work this past Wednesday.

I arrived at my usual time, around 9:00am. No one was around in my department – no one. It was a ghost town, all the desks were empty, not a person to be found.

Old habits die hard.

A few minutes later, one of my colleagues arrived. We chatted and caught up on each other’s holiday.

I mentioned he and I were the only ones in the whole department here. Neither of us knew exactly when or if anyone else would be coming back from holidays. So, we assumed it would just be the two of us until next week.

Then around 11:30am, another member of the department strolls in. Around 1:00pm – already half the day is gone – two other members of the department meander in.

Funny, I knew this day was my first day back, so I made sure to set my alarm clock to get up bright and early, so that I’d be at work bright and early. No one told me that first days back from vacation are come as you please. No one told me that I could just show up whenever I felt like it. No one told me come in after half the day has gone.

Old habits die hard.

All the managers and higher ups in our department are away on vacation until next week. When the boss is away, the rodents will play – as the saying goes.

In other words, there are no babysitters to watch over the nest and make sure we do as we should. Though in reality, we’re all adults and shouldn’t require a babysitter. Babysitters are for – well – babies!

But old habits die hard. Leadership, honesty, and professional ethics all stem from the top down. If the leaders don’t show true leadership, aren’t pillars of pride and honesty in their workplace, and don’t display strong professional ethics, than those they are in charge of won’t either.

I can understand one or two individuals out of a whole company taking advantage of situations where their bosses would be none the wiser. However, to have more than one individual in the same department doing so, that just spells problems for the department and those in charge of that department. It shows a severe lack of guidance, leadership and values from those in that department.

Old habits die hard – funny I keep ranting about that in this piece. But they obviously do, as the majority of people in the department have been in the department and with the company for more than two-years. Some have been with this company over 10, and even over 15-years.

Maybe it hasn’t always been the employees pulling the carpet out from under their manager’s eyes for all those years. But usually, people who have been working at the same place for many years develop a certain level of trust and respect for those they work under. That trust and respect, built over time, usually is showed by the level of professionalism when either party is out.

When the boss is out, if you respect and trust your boss, you don’t rape him or her by showing after half the day has gone. Likewise, when you are away, if your boss respects and trusts you, then your boss won’t take advantage of the situation, such as claiming your hard work as his or her own.

Trust and respect go hand in hand with solid leadership, strong guidance, and as always come from leading by example.

Leading by example isn’t intentional – it just happens. Whatever the boss does, the rest will follow – that’s why they call them leaders – because others follow their lead.

Old habits die hard – as the bosses have set a bad example, which their staff has taken as the norm.

Good thing the bosses aren’t around to see this – oh wait – they set the tone, so they probably do it themselves anyway.

Why Canadians Walk Like Penguins

We Canadians have a great country. We do live in one of the best places on earth – unlike our neighbours to the south, people from other countries actually like us.

Problem is, our sidewalks are not taken care of well – if at all. Or at least in my neck of the woods, the sidewalks are slippery, ice covered skating rinks, just waiting for someone to break their neck on. All while our roads are clear of ice, snow and slush – so much so they look like nothing ever was on them in the first place.

Why are pedestrians forced to walk like penguins, while those in cars get a free ride, so to speak?

Aren’t we all pedestrians at some point in time? No one can escape walking out doors in the winter. Even those with cars must eventually walk to and from them, usually on the very same sidewalks which everyone else must endure.

So how come our sidewalks are unsafe, while our roads are clear as glass?

Maybe those without cars are considered second-class citizens, unable to afford the luxury of a car, so their vote doesn’t matter.

But every vote in an election counts – or so we are lead to believe. Unless maybe there is something we don’t know about going on behind the scenes.

Even if there were, again, we are all pedestrians sometime.

All it takes is someone slipping and falling on the icy sidewalk, and next thing you know, the city has to deal with bad press and possibly a lawsuit. Then again, unlike our American neighbours, we aren’t quite as sue-happy here, so most Canadians would probably let it slide.

But they shouldn’t – we shouldn’t. We should stand up as best we can on the ice-rink of sidewalks, and head on down to city hall, demanding the same freedom of mobility as our automobile commuters.

We shouldn’t have to walk like penguins to avoid slipping. We shouldn’t arrive at work covered in slush. And we shouldn’t be treated with any less respect than those using a car.

Because, even those of us driving to and from point A to B, must venture out onto the sidewalk sometime – and that makes us all pedestrians.

Call your city and towns councillors and demand action. Stop walking like a penguin and start dialling. Everyone benefits from a clean and clear walk – especially YOU.

A New Year -- Again

Every year we do the New Year’s Eve Dance once again. People contemplate the year that was, and make predictions for the coming year.

We take time to reflect, to question and most importantly to drink large quantities of alcohol as we make resolutions of things we must do in the New Year.

I don’t make resolutions, I find it impossible to keep them. And making life decisions while under the influence of booze isn’t recommended by nine out of ten doctors – the tenth doctor was too drunk to reasonably trust.

So, instead of resolutions, here are some predictions for the year to come.

I predict we’ll hear more than we really want from washed up teen starlets, with little to no talent. Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and their counterparts will continue to make headlines in bad ways. Britney’s 16-year-old sister is already expecting a baby – a baby at 16 – sheesh!

We’ll also probably learn more about Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes and Nicole Kidman than we really need to know – I bet they are secretly having a love triangle. Wonder who gets to be on top?

Politically, I predict Canada will go to the polls early again, to elect a federal government. We haven’t had a true Prime Minister worthy of the title since Pierre Elliot Trudeau, which has seen the once great institution continue to falter and fail. Maybe this time we’ll actually have someone worthy of leading us as a nation run? I doubt it. Look for another minority government, as Canadians are given a choice between people more concerned with their political careers, than the good of the nation.

The economy is due for a nose-dive – our dollar has been climbing and the economy has been booming – fast. When things climb fast in the world of money, they usually fall even faster. I bet an economic downturn will hit us hard and fast sometime in 2008 – and it will rival the depression of the dirty thirties. Start collecting your loose change.

North American automakers will continue to suffer as the economy goes from good to worse. They jumped on the customer service band wagon too late, so most now only trust imports. Add to their bad luck, when the economy turns, even those willing to buy a North American built car, won’t have the cash. Look for GM to gobble up Chrysler, and then GM/Chrysler to be bought out by some Japanese automaker.

Weather-wise, we’ll see more severe storms as global warming continues to heat up the planet. More hurricanes, tornadoes, severe thunderstorms, and extra long and cold winters will be the norm from now until the end of time.

China will continue to produce dangerous products which will continue to be recalled. Pet food has recalls have already proven fatal for cats and dogs, just wait until the first human casualty occurs.

The American’s will continue to be the scurvy of the earth, bombing and raiding countries which are weaker than them, but hold vast quantities of oil, natural gas, and other valuable resources. Iraq will continue to be a country in turmoil, and Canadian soldiers will be called upon via the United Nations to help out. Look for more Canadian soldiers to die in 2008.

Technology will continue to impress and improve. High Definition DVDs will win the battle over Blue Ray discs in 2008, and people will finally realize that just because a television station is broadcasting in High Definition, unless the shows it is broadcasting were taped with High Definition cameras, it isn’t going to be in High Def. I am still amazed that people think that re-runs of Gilligan’s Island on some HD channel are HD showings of the classic show.

We’ll see an increase in hybrid cars in 2008, and a new plug-in version of the hybrid, giving them even more distance on a charge. Computers will get faster, hard drives bigger, and televisions larger. Completely useless, but “in” gadgets will dominate 2008. Look for self-cleaning underwear, family BlackBerry packages (why a 12-year-old needs a BlackBerry is beyond me), and remote controlled webcams which allow you to shoot complete movies from your webcam.

Satellite radio will die a slow and painful death in 2008, as people realize that they can get the same thing for a fraction of the cost just by ordering digital cable. Analogue cable will be phased out, so that those refusing to upgrade will be without any television at all, as television will no longer be carried over the airwaves in 2008 – those frequencies will be used by cell phone carriers to increase cell phone capacities on their networks. Rabbit ears will no longer work in 2008 – meaning if you don’t pay for television subscription, you won’t get any.

Speaking of television, reality shows will finally go too far, when they place a bunch of teenagers on a deserted island, and let them fend for themselves. The teenagers become savages, eat each other, rape the animals on the island, and all this is broadcast live, unedited and commercial free for the world to see. After public outcry, the big American networks stop producing reality shows, instead showing us re-runs of Gilligan’s Island in “high def.”

Yeah – hi def. Yeah, right.

Happy New Year!

Boxing Day Blues

I went to one of the local malls on Boxing Day. Boxing Day, for those of you not in Canada, is the one day of the year when stores try to sell off their inventory at discounted prices – it is the first day after Xmas.

Many people will line up over night to get into the stores first thing, trying to land those extra special discounts.

Maybe I’ve grown too cynical over the years, but I don’t really believe in Boxing Day sales. I think most stores actually raise their prices a few months prior to Xmas, so that when they hold these Boxing Day “sales” all they are doing is lowering the prices to the normal price.

Think about it – Xmas is the time when retail stores make or break most of their profits for the year. If they don’t do well during the Xmas rush, they will probably be out of business in the New Year. So it only makes sense for the stores to take full advantage of doing whatever it takes, to stay in business.

Which probably means raising prices for Xmas, and then lowering them back to what they should be after Xmas.

Hence Boxing Day sales aren’t really sale prices, they just appear to be so.

Still, people will do anything to get those Boxing Day “sale” prices. When I was in the mall on Boxing Day, people were overflowing everywhere – it was too crowded. People were also rude, shoving and pushing their way through the crowds.

Though manners have fallen to the wayside over the years, on Boxing Day, it appears manners don’t exist. Pushing and shoving is hardly proper behaviour for anyone.

I remember in the 1980s, when Cabbage Patch Kids were all the rage. People would start fights over the last Cabbage Patch Kid on the shelf. Police would be called in, and these morons would end up on the evening news, being escorted in handcuffs to jail.

These days, the toy which is causing the same rage is the Tickle Me Elmo. How can parents set a good example of proper behaviour, when they themselves don’t behave properly?

Parents going out of their way to secure a Tickle Me Elmo – even by brute force – what are they teaching their kids?

No wonder our society is screwed up. Kids think it is okay to knock someone’s lights out, because they see mommy and daddy do it over a toy.

I think we should rename Boxing Day to taking parents to jail day – because that is what it has become.

Or even better, maybe we should eliminate Boxing Day all together – the sales aren’t real, but the violence is. And we don’t need either.