Thursday, December 11, 2008

Retards Have All the Guts

I was taking our wondrous public transit system today, and it was busy with the usual suspects – business travellers, kids playing hooky from school, seniors out for their daily coffee, shoppers getting holiday gifts and me.

At one stop, a retard – I’m politically correct sorry, I mean handi. . . uh that’s been banned by the language police too . . . slow . . . hey . . . retard is just another word for slow . . . so retard it is – got on.

You could tell he was “developmentally challenged” – AKA slow or retarded. He sat right up front in the spots reserved for people with disabilities. Then he began wandering around, stopping to chat to any pretty lady who didn’t have time to make a mad dash out of there.

For someone without all his marbles, he had good taste. He only went up and started chatting with the good looking women, from what I could see. He even snubbed one woman who didn’t make his grade, as he budded in between her and her better looking friend.

Maybe you have to be retarded to have guts. Being a successfully single guy, I know it takes a lot of guts to go up and try and make nice nice with members of the opposite sex at venues where this sort of pick-up behaviour is expected, like a bar, club or party. But out in public, trapped on a public transit system, during one of its busy times, isn’t one of those common pick-up venues. And people usually aren’t in the mood to just start a conversation with a complete stranger.

Some of the women this guy went up to ignored him, but surprisingly, many actually talked to him. Maybe next time I see a hot babe that I just wanna get to know, I should play the retarded card?

Then again, I didn’t see anyone giving out their numbers, and he didn’t leave with anyone, so more likely they were just being kind and sympathetic.

Still, kudos to this kid for bravery. I’ve often found myself tongue-tied and shy when I catch an attractive woman checking me out, and trying to initiate something by a look or a stare. This guy didn’t even have the green light signal from any of these women, yet he went up and just started babbling and they started listening, and talking.

There is that old adage you have nothing to lose, and you’ll never know unless you try. But with all the news reports about violence in our streets, you’d figure most people would run away from a stranger’s advances in a situation which isn’t usually a social spot.

I would have thought that most of these women would have seen a person who obviously had some mental challenges, approaching them, and make up some excuse to get away, or even just leave without any reason, other than to make an escape.

But the retard, in all his slurred speech, awkward movements, and even more awkward approaches to meeting a mate, at least got those potential mates talking. And that in of itself, was a pretty amazing thing to see.

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