Sunday, September 23, 2007

Gold Teeth, Baggy Pants and Pimp Shoes

I’m no fashion guru, but even I know how to dress myself – or maybe not.

There seems to be a fashion trend going on, which just doesn’t make any sense to me.

Gold teeth, baggy pants which hang so low the guys have to pull ‘em up all the time, and neon colored pimp shoes.

I saw one guy wearing this outfit. His pants were so baggy, he had trouble walking, because every step they kept sagging lower and lower. I thought maybe he was dressed up for Halloween – but that’s not for another month.

What’s with fashion trends today?

You figure being in fashion wouldn’t just look nice, but be somewhat practical.

But how can gold teeth be practical? Baggy pants aren’t practical – unless you don’t mind walking like your pants don’t fit and have to keep pulling them up with every other step.

When I was younger, I’m sure we had outfits that the older people of the time thought were outrageous. When I was a teenager, balloon pants were pretty big. But so too were a good ‘ol staple which is still popular – blue jeans and a t-shirt.

These days, it seems anything goes, even if it makes you look like a misfit. And too me, someone wearing pants twelve sizes too big, pimp shoes and a smile of gold teeth is as big a misfit as they come.

I wonder what these people do when they grow up and out of their gold teeth phase? Do they go back to their dentist and ask for their original teeth back?

It’s why I never got any tattoos. When you’re young it might be cool to have a tattoo on your arm or shoulder. But one day, you could be a grandfather, and it would seem odd being a grandfather with a tattoo. Especially if you put on weight – that once pretty cool tattoo would be all stretched and not look like much more than abstract art – if that.

And these pants that don’t fit, they expose us to plumber’s butt. Oh – I’m sorry, butt cleavage. That’s the “in” term these days for it. Showing your ass in public is okay I guess – though when I was a kid, I remember the girls would get into trouble for wearing things too off the shoulder. But showing your ass is okay. Go figure.

Butt cleavage may impress dogs and other wild life – but it doesn’t impress me. So pull up your pants and get some regular clothes.

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