Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Talking Hoo-Hoos

Using some cheesy pick up line to get someone’s attention is as old a trick as any. Probably long before cavemen walked the earth, dinosaurs had something similar to lure a potential mate. It was all in the growl.

I was on the subway the other day, and as often happens, those who get on first get a seat, the rest stand. I had the luxury of a seat, while two young women – probably in their mid-twenties – ended up standing in front of me.

They were obviously trying to get my attention, talking loud, and smiling my way anytime I happened to look up to see where we were.

But I suppose that just wasn’t good enough, they had to try something more brazen.

One of the women, said to her friend: “I just got my hoo-hoo pierced,” she giggled.

Her friend said: “no way! You mean the area down there?” as she pointed to her most private of areas.

Then they both smiled upon me, knowing I’d look up if I happened to hear the nature of their explicit conversation.

Explicit conversations aren’t uncommon among consenting adults, but usually take place in less public gatherings. In some jurisdictions, even uttering a swear word can land you in jail.

I smiled back, and they perked up – at last, they thought – victory! We got his attention.

Too bad for them, my stop was next, and I made a quick exit.

It’s always flattering to be hit on, and it happens from time to time. It makes me feel not as old as I do sometimes, and it is always a turn on when someone else finds you attractive.

But what ever became of the pick-up line? Is it necessary to talk about what we do to our private parts in public, to get someone’s attention? Does that sort of talk work?

When I was much younger, I remember attempting an awkward pick-up line here and there. They never worked, I found good old fashioned honesty works best when trying to ask someone out.

Sometimes you just have to start a conversation with someone, about anything – the weather, a local sports team, traffic – though I suppose one sure way to get someone’s attention is by talking about your hoo-hoo.

But talking about hoo-hoos and other body parts might not get you the attention you were hoping for.

Although I was flattered to be the object of two women’s desires, I was tired from a long day at work, and didn’t really know what to say had I somehow jumped into the conversation. What can you say about some stranger’s hoo-hoo, without getting slapped silly?

Though if they are open enough to mention their hoo-hoo, I guess anything is fair game. Which makes me wonder, what they would have started talking about next, had I stayed longer?

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