Laundry Hogs

I live in a large, high-rise apartment. On-site, there is a large laundry room with probably about 40-washers and 40-dryers.

I go down to do my laundry on weekends, as many do. In my building, there are one, two and three-bedroom apartments. So, you figure, there ought to be more than enough machines for us all to share.

So long as you don’t have a laundry hog.

There is one woman I’ve had the displeasure of encountering numerous times in the laundry room. She takes practically all the washers at once! All 40 of ‘em!

Now, when I was a kid growing up, we had a family of four and my mom often did everyone’s laundry. We had a washer and a dryer and my mom would do maybe four or five loads for all of our clothes. So, in theory, for a family of four, you should only need a max of four washers.

I’m starting to wonder if this laundry hog woman is running some sort of illegal scam. Maybe she’s got a bunch of illegal immigrants in her place or something, because she’s using 40 machines.

And it isn’t just the washers. Nope, this woman is sneaky-clever. She comes down just before her laundry is done in the washers, to secure all the dryers. I’ve been there and she’s actually told people not to use empty machines because they are “hers” – even though she hasn’t actually put anything in them yet!

The nerve of some people – to take ownership of something just like that. It is as if she owns the laundry room and we mere peasants have to ask – no beg – for her permission to use the machines.

F*ck that – if she ever does that to me, I’ll give her a piece of my mind. She doesn’t own the machines, we all pay equally for the privilege to use them through our rent.

Maybe next time, I see her take all the washers, I’ll wait until she is gone, and spike her washers with permanent neon purple magic markers – with the caps off. When she comes back to take procession of the dryers, she’ll see all her clothes have been color-coded a nice bright purple.

Yeah, that’ll teach her. And it will cut down on her laundry usage – she’ll have fewer clothes next time she comes down to do the laundry.

I love purple magic markers!