Saturday, October 17, 2009

Married Flirts Cheat While Social Networking

Regular readers of this blog no doubt follow me on Facebook and Twitter.

These social networking sites provide an invaluable way for people to stay current with their family, friends, business contacts, and personal interests.

I started using Twitter and Facebook earlier this year to prom

PALO ALTO, CA - APRIL 21:  San Francisco Mayor...Image by Getty Images via Daylife

ote this blog. It is interesting to reflect on these social networking sites every so often, to see how they actually work.

Interesting study came out recently claiming there is a direct link between economic status and social network. The wealthiest and most prosperous of us are on LinkedIn, while those raking in the least amount of income use Myspace.
Facebook and Twitter were used by everyone else. Maybe it is about time I joined LinkedIn . . .

Regardless of what you make and what social networking sites you use, I’ve noticed an interesting, sad, but not surprising phenomenon on these social networking sites.

People use them to escape their personal problems – specifically, people in relationships engage in extremely flirtatious, if not downright sexually suggestive and borderline cheating, types of behavior.

To steal a phrase from American President Barack Obama – let us be clear – many use social networking sites to cheat on their partner.

While on Twitter and to a lesser extent Facebook, many married women, some with kids, and some married to the same person for decades – will flirt directly with me – and other men. Naturally, many of these men – most of whom are also married, with kids, and in long-term relationships – will flirt back. I see the messages go back and forth – it’s hard NOT to read some of the highly sexually suggestive posts which appear almost immediately after the person typed them.

Image representing LinkedIn as depicted in Cru...Image via CrunchBase

There are many people using these social networking sites like me, who aren’t married – but for those who are – which is the majority of those engaging in this form of online cheating – WOW – get a room!

I’ve seen “tweets” (instant posts on Twitter) about every sort of sexual activity imaginable – usually between two or more people who are married to anyone NOT present in the online dialogue.

Many women have sent me direct tweets, highly suggestive in nature – some directly outright telling me what they’d like to do with me. Going through my records – remember, whatever you post online, stays online forever – I’ve calculated about 75 percent of these flirtatious posts originated from married women, and more than half of those have one or more children – 64 percent to be precise.

I’m not a bad looking dude, though I’m certainly no Adonis – but out of the 150 tweets directly sent to me on average per day -- combining @jordansdaily and Direct Messages (DMs) – 75 of these are flirtatious messages from married women.

Now to be fair, I’m a professional writer that also happens to be somewhat zany, and highly imaginative. So at first when I started getting these messages, I’d send off some equally suggestive, wild post, which couldn’t ever possibly happen. I’d go off on a tangent, making insanely crazy stuff up as I went – I wa

Image representing Twitter as depicted in Crun...Image via CrunchBase

s just joking around, letting my creative imagination take me and my online readers on a mental journey.

Little did I know I was fueling the fire of the sad, the lonely, and the desperate.

I check my online social networking sites every day, trying to limit my online stay to about an hour. Aside from spending all day at work sitting in front of a computer as reason enough to not want to spend all my free time at home sitting in front of one, psychologists and addiction experts tell us that an hour a day is more than enough time to enjoy the hobby, without it negatively impacting your life – and becoming a true addiction.

However, whenever I happen to check these online sites – again specifically Twitter – there these married women are. For those not on Twitter, the second you send out a response to someone, unless it is a private Direct Message (DM), everyone who is following you sees the response. Just like email, I go onto Twitter to respond to my messages, and in so doing, inadvertently alert all those married flirts that I’m online.

Literally within five-minutes or less of responding to just one or two tweets, on average I receive about five to ten new tweets from these married women.
Often I respond only somewhat joking – “you still here, you never leave” – because truthfully, some of them never have.Image representing Facebook as depicted in Cru...
The online world provides an escape, a virtual world where they can forget about whatever is wrong in their real lives, and play with real people, who aren’t real to them. They get so involved in this artificial online world, it becomes the only world they want to be a part of, and so they avoid the real world at all costs.

Some of these women make no bones about their cheating ways – though they probably would never consider this cheating.

One brags about sending these flirtatious tweets while lying in bed, right next to her husband – she sends these messages from her mobile phone. She does this every night. Why her husband never asks her why she’s always texting from bed every night, or who with, probably indicates only part of the problem.

Another woman tells me she’s in the car, while her hubby drives. Another woman tells me she tweets from the kitchen on her laptop, while the husband watches his sports in the living room: “he’ll never get up, not until half-time,” she boasts as she discreetly hides in her kitchen.

If it’s not cheating, why hide? There shouldn’t be any guilt if you aren’t doing anything wrong. Though some of these women are tweeting while their husbands are right next to them – maybe they are flirting with other women online too?

These poor sad, lonely and desperate women. They really must be all of these things – and many more – else why would they seek out sexual attention from complete strangers, often while their husbands are right next to them?

If I was involved with someone and had urges to seek out others for intellectual, sexual, physical or other needs, I’d have a discussion with my partner – or just end the relationship.

It isn’t fair to the other person to constantly spend time away from that person, giving all the attention you should be more than interested in sharing with the person you are married too – instead of some stranger in another country, in some virtual online social networking site, who is really there online, but not really there in the real world. And being there in the real world is what really matters – no matter how popular social networking becomes.

Social networking sites are great for many things. Networking with colleagues, sharing your thoughts, opinions and ideas about the world (such as this blog), learning about new and interesting developments in the world around you, and even making new friends who may become great friends if you actually take the time to meet in the real world.

But social networking sites are also great at distracting us from our problems. They create virtual worlds where we can seemingly interact with others in ways we crave from those in our real lives, but just aren’t getting. And that’s really too bad, because it doesn’t solve the problems we have in the real world – it just makes them harder to confront and deal with.

And dealing with our issues in the real world is the only real way to solve them.

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