Snow Days Minus the Snow

We had a major blast of winter over the weekend. Come Monday morning, the roads were icy – but passable. Actually, most of the roads were clear and free by mid-morning, so it would be understandable for those in far off lands to be late – but to not come in at all is just plain lazy.

Still, surprise – surprise – many people decided to take an extra long weekend and “work” from home.

Working from home is okay if you really do work from home. Most don’t – instead they fake it.

How do you work from home without actually working from home?

Just send a few emails every couple of hours, make a few phone calls to those poor victims actually working in the office, and occasionally send out a memo.

Today, the whole marketing department was no where to be found. They were all “working” from home – though I seriously doubt anyone got any work done. Though much of the time, they don’t get any work done while they are in the office – so I guess that’s okay.

The president of the company came by earlier today, and asked where everyone was in marketing. I told him they were working from home. I thought about making those fake quotation mark gestures with my hands – but decided not too. He knows all too well how little the marketing department actually does. Which is surprising, seeing as they have done little to improve the department – other than sack the director. That whole department needs to be cleaned from top to bottom if they are to get back on track.

But back to the issue at hand – “working” with the fake quotation marks for emphasis – actually causes more problems than it cures.

For starters, you can never really ever reach anyone working from home. Funny how that is – when someone is in the office chugging away, you can almost always find them. But when they “work” from home, it is as if they enter this giant cone of silence and all you get is voice-mail.

But by calling them and leaving a message you give them the perfect opportunity to prove they are “working” – now when they return your call, you feel complete, like you’re not the only sucker working, because they must be working as they returned your call.

How much effort does it take to return a voice-mail?

Exactly.

You are still a sucker. And they are still “working” from home – comfy in their PJs, watching their favourite shows on television, while sipping their favourite beverages.

You on the other hand, are tackling your work, and probably some of their work too – because they aren’t around and things need to get done.

That’s another “benefit” of working from home. Things need to get done, so those in the office do them – while those out of the office “working” from home get to relax, and come back to a nice clean desk.

Though for some reason, my honest work ethic somehow lands me in the role of office cleaner, as I more often than not get stuck doing other people’s gigs when they “work” from home.

“So and so isn’t here, can you do it?”

F*ck!

More work on top of an endless stream of overwork and underpay.

They never pay me the other person’s salary for doing their job, they just tell me how wonderful I am for doing it.

Nice.

I’ll try that next time my bills come due. You’re wonderful for providing phone service – but sorry, no money this month. Maybe next time – but did I mention how good the phone service you provide is?

Yeah – that’ll work.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll work from home.