What Would You Do If You Had Two New Years?

I recently received a card from my mom, reminding me that I enjoy the benefits of two new years.

No, she wasn’t drunk, stoned or in any other way intoxicated. I am Jewish, and tonight marks the start of our new year – Rosh Hashanah.

My mom’s card got me thinking – are their benefits to having to go through new year’s twice?

I do have tomorrow and Friday off from work – I suppose an extended long weekend is a big plus. When I was in university, there were so many other Jewish students, the school had a holiday on the Jewish High Holidays (which includes the New Year).

I always thought it was nice to enjoy the extra holidays – and they are so close to the Labor Day weekend, it is like a mini extension of summer.

But people tend to make their biggest mistakes at New Year’s.

They make silly new year resolutions, which even they know they cannot keep. I’m still struggling with my resolution from some time ago, to become taller, darker and even handsomer – if handsomer is a word.

But alas, I am still just me.

Around the Xmas break and New Year’s, there are more drunk drivers on the roads than at other times.

Also around New Year’s, the cost of a stamp along with various other government services routinely goes up.

We tend to reflect on our year just past, on the good the bad and the ugly. But for some reason only the bad and ugly last in our memories clear as day.

Radio stations traditionally play the top zillion songs all week, hitting the number one song somewhere between “Happy” and New Year.”

And guaranteed somewhere, some couple proudly holds up the first baby of the new year. Hopefully they had better reasons than just that for conceiving the little guy, otherwise next year they’ll be in divorce court.

Pink Champaign. New Year’s is the only time a man can drink pink Champaign without looking like he plays for the same team.

So, are two new year’s better than one?

Let me sip from my pink Champaign and get back to you on that.

Happy New Year!