Best Gig I Never Had

I work with a lot of clock watchers. You know the type – always watching the clock to see how much longer they have to be here.

Clock watchers are annoying, because they are always struggling to get home, from the very second they walk into the office. It could be just after nine in the morning, but already they are complaining.

“I want to go home,” one of them will say.

“Is it time to go” another will wish for.

Then there are those that not only watch the clock, they intentionally make it work in their favor.

“I have to leave early today, at 3pm,” one of the notorious clock watchers in my office will always say, especially on a Friday.

They never a valid reason for leaving early. I could and probably would understand if someone had a medical appointment, a rare special occasion, or some other legitimate reason. But the experienced clock watcher knows better than to give an excuse – if they make something up and it isn’t good enough, you could call them on it.

“I have to go water my pool,” would be a pretty pathetic attempt at leaving early.

So, instead of risking their all important departure time, they just say they have to leave early – without any reason.

This is especially nerve racking when you have a project or some other important deliverable due, and you depend on those on your team to pull their weight and do the work.

Often, I have been stuck with someone else’s work, simply because no they had to leave early – without any reason.

It can be 3pm on the button, and that person that told you they had to leave at 3pm is already long gone. They left even earlier, because they know the system and how to work it. They know and expect a big pile of work to come falling from the sky right around the time they said they had to leave.

To avoid that sudden work project, they leave early – even if they know and are all too aware of the importance of the work still needing their attention.

“I have to go home, now,” is all they mumble, as they scurry off, like a scared animal.

Truth is, once they are outside and away from the office, they are all smiles. They made it! They are free.

Meanwhile, back in hell – I mean the office – I am usually the one stuck doing their job.

Then there are those that suddenly and without reason decide to work from home.

Working from home had its advantages. You don’t have to get all fancy in your work clothes. You don’t have to pack a lunch. And you don’t have to work, if you don’t want too.

That’s right – working from home is just like being on vacation, only you get paid to goof off.

People often “work from home” but never have anything to show for all their supposed hard efforts. Funny, when I work in the office, I produce lots of things – completed documents, emails, voice mails . . .

That’s the trick from working from home – faking it.

We have some who “work from home” often. They call into the office every so often, to pretend to be working. They call in to chit-chat, ask who’s here, and just so happen to mention what they are “working on” today.

But whatever it is they are “working” on never really gets worked on. They may even send out an email or two, to show they are “working” but again, its just for show.

I’m always amazed anything gets done around here.

Oh yeah, that’s because I don’t usually leave early and I never work from home.