Chocolate Covered Bacon? Only in Canada, eh?

Yesterday, Canada’s largest fall fair opened – the Canadian National Exhibition (CNE), a right of summer’s passage into fall long before most of us can remember.

From the usual midway rights, the sounds of hucksters peddling their midway games, the rides, the air show to the food, there is something special about the CNE which most Canadians fondly remember.

One year they served up pizza on a stick – looked too messy so I didn’t try it. Last year they had chocolate covered bacon – that just sounds gross.

Not to be out done, this year you can get something slightly healthier – deep fried butter. Well, okay, it might not be healthy at all, but I’m just curious how they are going to deep fry something that melts like – well butter.

Want something more meaty? Try a cheeseburger in a bag, also new this year.
What ever happened top good old burgers, fries, and ice cream cones?

Although “the Ex” as it has become known by locals in Toronto, Canada, has its fair share of unusual foods – they boast this year there are 22 items sold on a stick – there is something missing from CNE’s of the past.

When I was a kid, I remember going to the Food Building for lunch, and being amazed at all the different tastes. It was a multicultural smorgasbord from everywhere on the planet. They even gave out free samples!

For at least the past decade, if not longer, the Food Building has suffered the modernization of the rest of the world. Now it’s littered with big multinational fast food giants, national fast food chains. You can get burgers and fries, finger licking chicken, and pizza from all the big fast food vendors.

Probably why the mom and pop shops can only survive at “the Ex” by offering wild concoctions like deep fried butter, and pizza on a stick.

Oh well, at least they still sell the classic ice cream waffles, beaver tails, and the ultimate fall fair treat – cotton candy.

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Monkey Meatballs – What’s In Your Food?

Yesterday, Indonesian police arrested two cooks for serving up meatballs made from the flesh of endangered monkeys.

About a dozen Silver-Leaf monkeys were poached from Baluran National Park, in Java Island by these “chefs” and the meat was used to make meatball soup (known locally as “bakso”) which is a local delicacy.

The rare monkeys were used because the pair couldn’t afford the more expensive beef or chicken usually used in the meatballs.

Here in North America, we’re more fortunate to have better controls on what goes on in our local eateries.

Or are we?

Just last week, a cop in Vancouver, Washington, USA found a big gob of spit on his burger, from the local Burger King. DNA testing was used on the burger, and matched up with the burger giant’s employee who made the burger. The burger flipper pleaded guilty to assault and the matter is before the courts.

A few years back, an Alberta, Canada food inspector found four skinned and gutted canines in a Chinese restaurant’s freezer. The inspector wasn’t able to determine from the carcasses if they were dogs or coyotes.

When we go out for a night on the town, or stop off at a fast food joint for a quick bite, we never really think about what we are putting into our bodies.

We don’t stop to think about whether the chef that tossed your salad washed his or her hands, if the kid that asked if you wanted fries with that spat in your burger, or if that burger itself is made from monkey, dog, or some other stuff, which might not be what we intended to consume.

Often we can’t see the food in a restaurant being prepared, usually we’re engaged in a social situation, and involved with the discussions with those at our table, instead of keeping a close eye on the cook.

The best advice is if something just doesn’t seem right, don’t eat it. If your beef burger doesn’t taste like what other beef burgers taste like, don’t eat it. If something which is supposed to be served cold isn’t refrigerator cold, don’t eat it. If something which is supposed to be served hot isn’t hot-from-the-oven hot, don’t eat it.

We can’t always control what goes into our food, but we can always control what goes into our mouths.

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It’s Not Fine Dining, But Just Ok

Ordering in fast food has never been the most healthy choice, but it sure has changed over the years – and we’re not talking just product selection.

I remember back in the 1980’s when a pizza place opened up, whose slogan was “buy one, always get one free.” This started a trend, where all the pizza places followed suit, offering cheap deals on buying multiple pizza pies.

These days, you never get a free pizza, they just knock off a few dollars from each pizza when you buy more than one.

The pizza places and many other fast food restaurants also used to offer speedy delivery. One place’s famous slogan “30 minutes or it’s free” still rings in my memories. It even got to the point where rumors circulated about what the company did to delivery drivers not meeting the tight timelines. Such as taking the cost of the order out of the driver’s pay, or worse – firing the driver. Some restaurants even printed on their boxes “we care about your safety, our drivers never have to pay for a late order.”

Time may constantly move forward, but times have gone back to the dark ages in terms of speedy fast food delivery. When I order from a big chain chicken and ribs place, I used to always get a guaranteed to arrive time for the order. Now they always tell me that my order is on a “no time guarantee delivery, we’ll get you your order as fast as we can.”

As fast as we can? Hello! When I order fast food it’s not because of a future need, I’m hungry NOW. I know I can’t have it instantly, but just how long is “as fast as we can?”

Very rarely do you get your order for free if they do promise a time of delivery which isn’t met. Most places only will refund you the cost of delivery, which usually is only a couple of dollars.

Sure, fast food has other benefits still – it takes less time as you don’t have to prepare it yourself, and there is less clean up afterwards as all you need are the dishes and utensils for eating the meal. And when you order from a big chain, you are almost always guaranteed to get exactly what you ordered, they occasionally make mistakes, but usually they are consistent in terms of what they offer and how.

But once you offer something to the customer, it pains us when you take it away. Or confuses us when you add things that – well – that we’d never thought you would.

Like when McDonald’s started selling pizza’s in the late 1990’s. Who would have thought that a burger joint would start selling pizza? McPizza didn’t last too long – though it wasn’t that bad. Like the Big Mac, it had a distinct flavor all its own.
But it usually took longer to make than a burger, so often you’d get your hot pizza just as your friends had finished their meals and were ready to leave.

And now many pizza places have added French fries and onion rings to their menus. I remember years ago when they had potato wedges – don’t see those too often anymore. Guess they just swapped one form of greasy food with another.

Now when the fast food restaurants start selling fine steak dinners, with a nice bottle dry Chardonnay – that’ll be when I really cross over and start ordering more often!

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